I used to feel like that but within a household celebrating xmas. I hated it so when JWs came knocking no longer being forced to endure it was a bonus.
Now out and atheist it has no religious meaning at all and I give all the outward appearance of celebrating but inside its just another day with a bigger meal and more alcohol and more vegging out.
You can do Xmas in your head however way you want and create a place in your mind where everyone you love celebrates and you get all the presents you want. No financial limits either.
If you need to chat feel free to send me a message. X